


together with you

by juvenileDREAMS



Series: Huening Kai-Centric drabbles collection [19]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Keyword: forever, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24437500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juvenileDREAMS/pseuds/juvenileDREAMS
Summary: After all, there is nothing left for them here.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Series: Huening Kai-Centric drabbles collection [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1407400
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	together with you

The first thing that Soobin registers is his own blank eyes gazing up at him from the pavement. Neck bent at an unnatural angle. Tears flowing freely and blending into the growing puddle of blood. He takes a peek at his wispy hands and whispers;

"Am I dead?"

Soobin doubles back in laugh, though it’s soon replaced with chuckles of disbelief. Apparently, ghosts really do exist. He is handling this much better than he probably should be. If he is dead…yet his presence was somehow still anchored to the earth—

"Hueningie you—you're here too, aren't you?" He starts to look around in manic. "You have to be here."

Nothing responded in the early hours of the morning. Soobin feels his body begin to tremble.

"Please say something! You can't just leave me like this! Huening Kai!"

Not one car passes by, nor did a breeze whistle through.

He is all alone.

"It can't be," Soobin whispers. "Is this some kind of punishment?" He wants to gouge his eyes out. Stop seeing his mangled body, his apartment, his neighborhood. Stop seeing everything. "Are you really gone?"

"You shouldn't have jumped," a quiet voice came from nearby.

Soobin spins around to see Huening fidgeting with his sleeve. Hint of tears marring his pale, yet still beautiful face. God Soobin misses him so much.

"You should have…" Huening pauses to find the right words to say, before he shrugs helplessly. He looks like he’s about to cry and Soobin’s heart clench. "You weren't supposed to die too."

Soobin doesn't really register what Huening said. He doesn’t really think. He just finds himself embracing Huening as hard as he could. Soobin can feel the younger boy freezes at the first physical contact since he'd died. But after a while, he hugs back as tightly.

"So you've been by my side the whole time?" Soobin whispers into his hair.

"Mm."

"I see."

And they stay like that for a while, not wanting to let go of each other yet. But after what feels like forever, the euphoria of seeing each other again is winding down. But Soobin’s eyes keep themselves trained at Huening, just to make sure he was still there.

Huening, meanwhile, is lost in his own thoughts. He has barely even come to terms with his own death; he's been too busy watching over Soobin, hoping and wishing that he could go back to his old life, could be happy again. Even so, in that one moment, it had hurt to think that Soobin might be happy again without him around.

His own hypocrisy makes him sick. Is he the reason Soobin is dead? Because he had been too selfish? Because he hadn't wished hard enough for Soobin's happiness?

"How can you—How can you be acting so calm about this?" Huening finds himself directing his all anger at Soobin. "How are you going to be a doctor now? It’s your dream to save people, you should have lived!"

Soobin laughed derisively. "Save people? I couldn’t even save _you_ , how do you think I can save other people?”

That shuts him up.

“After you were gone, I just… nothing else really mattered.” Soobin continues with a whisper. “And what about you? What about your dreams?"

"Who cares?! I was dead. It couldn't be helped."

"But that was because I—"

"No! You didn't know, I didn't know, that truck driver didn't know. It wasn't your fault!" Huening can't help letting out all the pent-up words he'd been storing when Soobin was alive. Yet now that he can say them, it’s all too late.

Huening feels exhausted, having wasted all his energy yelling when all he wants to do is to tackle Soobin with a hug and never let go.

"You should have just forgotten about me. This didn't have to happen to you." He clutches at his chest; some phantom pain of churning guilt and rage and sadness refused to let him go. "It hurt to watch you."

Soobin's reply comes out in a hoarse whisper, "You think it was painful watching me?" he brings his hands out and grabs onto Huening's like it’s his lifeline. "I _lost_ you. I was waiting and waiting for you to come back, just so I could apologize. The next thing I know, someone's knocking at the door, and I have to accept the fact that I can't say sorry to your face again." he squeezes his eyes shut, resting his head against Huening's chest. "Can't eat with you, can't fight and make up with you, can't wake up with you against my side, can't say hi, see you later, I'm glad you're here, I miss you, I love you, I love you, _I love you_ ; I couldn't do any of those things. Because I had lost you for good."

_And I lost you_ , Huening thinks bitterly. Even so, he has to admit that it wasn't the same at all. He has been by Soobin's side the whole time. But Soobin has to struggle with the idea that Huening just didn't exist anymore. The younger boy lets out a heavy sigh. There is no going back, even if they want to. Yeah, it’s not the best of situations, and he doesn’t want this for either of them, but now that they were here—

Huening closes his eyes and squeezes back. As he does so, he noticed a slight warmth between their hands. It slowly dissipates throughout their bodies, and he watches as he and Soobin start to become even more translucent than before. There is also a weird feeling in his mind; contentment, finality. Soobin raises his head, and from the look in his eyes, he is feeling the same.

"I'm guessing it's time to go," Huening says softly.

"Go? Go where?"

"Dunno; wherever all the ghosts go?"

After all, there is nothing left for them here. So it must time for them to let go, right? But that only makes Soobin’s grip on his hand tightens.

"Binnie-hyung?"

"I can't let you go," Soobin breathes. "Not again."

"Yeah." Huening brings his other hand up to cover Soobin's callused knuckles. "Me neither."

"What's gonna be on the other side?"

Huening can't answer that.

"Do you think we'll ever see each other again?"

He can't answer that either. Even so, he puts on his bravest smile and gave a comforting squeeze of his hands. "Well, I'm certainly not going to let you go. Are you?"

Huening couldn't tell if Soobin had seen through his bluff or not. The now-wispy Soobin eventually gave a carefree smile. "Never."

Together they fade, gazing at each other until the very end, for as long as they possibly could.

And then they are gone.

By now, a light drizzle has started in the neighborhood. The tears on Soobin's lifeless body are washed away by the softly pouring rain; as if they'd never existed in the first place.


End file.
